1. It may or may not surprise you to hear that I spend an inordinate amount of time trying to get my boys to say "bottom" instead of "butt." It occurs to me that it is a losing battle and my time would be better spent trying to get them not to say things like "ass," which they've heard several times (and reported to me about) on the new show Falling Skies -- which they are watching with Grayson despite my disapproval.
2. I'm probably within one week of no longer being able to fit through our shower door. SHHH. Don't tell Jake. That will only give him more ammunition to comment on my size.
3. Grayson asked me the other day, unsolicited: "So do you think by the time the baby gets here you'll be COMPLETELY grey? Or will there still be a little brown left in your hair?" Because seriously, y'all, it's about time for some covering up of the grey. It's practically the dominant color on my head. And also: It's a good thing I'm not the sensitive type.
4. School registration brings out the worst in me. I say, if you made me register online, then don't have me come in during a four-hour window on a work day to fill out the same damn information all over again on paper. TWICE, BECAUSE I HAVE TWO KIDS THERE. Every single thing on the paper forms, I'd already completed online. And yet. AND YET. I'm telling you, it makes me hate a school I ordinarily love.
5. Speaking of ... You don't see me using a lot of foul language here, because that's not really how I roll. But when I'm pregnant, boy oh boy is there a lot of it going on in my head most of the time. There are just some times when a good old F-bomb goes off in my head, and I must say, I feel like a total CHAMP for not letting it rip out loud. If your virgin eyes can take it, here's one of my recent uncensored thoughts verbatim. On popcorn in my house: Don't pop that shit in a hot-air popper if you don't plan to clean it up yourdamnself.
I should be embarrassed, I know. But I can't help it. It's the hormones. Back to my regular censored self tomorrow.
