Jul 25, 2012

Uncomfortable truths, vol. 32

1. Lots of people post sunrise pictures to Twitter and Instagram. You will never, ever see a sunrise picture from me. I am not awake at that time. And if I ever WERE to be awake at that time, I would be in such a foul, foul mood that I wouldn’t pick up my phone to take a picture.

2. There is a right way and a wrong way to reseal the bread loaf with a twist-tie. Hint: CLOCKWISE IS THE RIGHT WAY. Counter-clockwise is how you twist the tie to OPEN the bread bag.

3. My phone always puts a period after my winks and smileys when they come at the end of a sentence. So it looks like I think I'm Cindy Crawford or something. Hmm. I wonder if she makes HER smileys like that.

4. I think about the English language a lot. I would like to start a movement to change the past tense of "breathe" to "brothe." "Breathed" just sounds wrong.

5. Scout has taken to pooping on the bath mat in our master bathroom when we leave the house. Or sometimes just AFTER we've come home. It is irritating to about the 459th degree that I have to clean up cat poop from my bathmat when a perfectly good litterbox is about four feet away. Is Dr. Seuss dead? I have a book idea: The Cat Who Shat on the Mat.

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